Charlie with Justin Long and Jason Sudekis

Hello. Charlie Kelly here, local business owner and cat enthusiast. Is your cat making TOO MUCH NOISE all the time? Is your cat constantly stomping around driving you crazy? Is your cat clawing at your furnitures? Think there’s no answer? You’re so stupid. There is! Kitten Mittons! Finally there’s an elegant, comfortable mitten for cats! I couldn’t hear anything! Is your cat one legged? Is your cat fat, skinny or an in between? That doesn’t matter ‘cuz one size fits all! Kitten Mittons, you’ll be smitten. So come on down to Patty’s Pub. We’re the home of the original Kitten Mittons. Meee-owww!

(submitted by fortruthisalwaysstrange)

hoodiesandhandholding:

Master of karate & friendship

Happy Halloween

Dee: You guys are dicks.
Frank: It took you long enough.
Charlie: It took you forever!
Mac: Did you still wanna go?
Dee: Shut up.
Dennis: It’s really cramped back here with this cooler.
Dee: Why don’t you put the cooler in the trailer?
Charlie: Uhhh, because then, Dee, we’re gonna have to pull over every single time we want a beer.
Mac: That new car smell is starting to give me a headache. Dennis, give me a cigarette.
Dee: Do you guys have to smoke in here?
Mac: Well, your car reeks, Dee. So. *ptt*
Charlie: Goddd, dude. This things so heavy!
Frank: I’m gonna get a blood clot from this thing.
Dee: Oh my god. Why don’t you put it in the trailer!?
Charlie: Why don’t I put YOU in the trailer!?
Dee: Good one, Charlie.

(via grittypix)

Dee: Hey you guys! Watch me bust out this sweet jack-knife.

Mac: Dennis, I found the perfect girl for Charlie. Smart, beautiful, the whole thing.
Dennis: Where??
Mac: Right there.
Dennis: Over by the pool table?
Mac: Yeah. Nice!
Dennis: That’s great, Mac.
Dee: Good work, Mac!
Dennis: That’s a dude.
Mac: No, the one with the exposed midriff and the cans.
Dennis: Yeah, that’s Eric Wyzotski’s cousin. Carmen, right?
Mac: Yeah, Carmen.
Dennis: Tranny.
Dee: Implants?
Dennis: Yeah.
Dee: Nice.
Mac: Are you sure?
Dennis: Yeah. Look at his jeans, dude. There’s and unmistakeable bulge of a large penis in those jeans.
Dee: Yeah, there’s a dick in those pants.