- Salt, shot, lime.
- It’s an insult to bring someone a diet soda.
- Poppers improve aim.
- If you want it to look like a bicep, it needs more veins.
- Drinking Chardonnay is faggy.
- When he says his “sister”, he means “his sister”.
- Asians love gambling.
- There is no Pepe Silvia.
- You don’t eat someone just because they don’t have heroin in their ass.
- There is a strange connection between drinking a lot of beer, huffing glue and eating cat-food that makes you feel sick and go to bed.
- It’s okay to let an alcoholic drink as long as you’re trying to play Sex & The City
- Never wear black and yellow. You will look a bumblebee, bitch.
- Abortion rallies are a good place to pick up women.
- NOW’S NOT THE TIME TO BE THROWING DOWN LIFE LESSONS.
- Describing an episode of Law & Order is not a story.
- Every great group in history has followed a basic dynamic: the brains, the looks, the muscle, the wildcard and the useless chick.
- Gasoline is a thousand time more expensive than electricity.
- Hospital gowns really let your ass breathe.
- Banging a tranny = serial killing.
- Instead of working out, just take pills.
- 80’s music is the best music for spin classes.
- You don’t write a musical without a reason.
- If you break into someone’s house, you need to blast death metal.
- It’s all about nips and hips, otherwise no one will eat.
- Human meat tastes good.
- Poop is funny.
- Nobody parties like a jockey.
- Under every stadium is a tunnel.
- Bitch, you speak when spoken to now.
- Charlie is the toughest guy you know.
(Submitted by theaverageparadise)
