Dee: You shouldn’t be drinking in a shoe store.
The Waitress: You shouldn’t be drinking in a shoe store.
Dee: What is the matter with you? I told you to pace yourself.
The Waitress: I have a drinking problem!
Dee: Well, then, you should know how to hold your booze a little better.
The Waitress: I’ll hold your boobs a little better.
Dee: Oh, good one.

Frank: Are you all gonna go against me on this?
Dee: Sorry, Larry Bird.
Dennis: Stop trying to use the Larry Bird thing.
Charlie: Don’t use the Larry Bird thing.

The Waitress: Were you just pooping on the floor?
Charlie: No, I was not. That was an endurance contest. Which I won, by the way.
Dennis: You’re paying for that.
Charlie: She doesn’t have to pay for that.
Dennis: Yes, she does.
The Waitress: Bite me, asshole.
Dee: Wow, you have a bad attitude when you’re drinking.
The Waitress: You have a bad attitude when you’re drinking, you huge-footed slut. You know what? I’m just gonna go get more wasted and then I’m gonna bang some random dude.
Charlie: Could it be this guy?
The Waitress: No it can’t but it could be Dennis.
Dennis: Pass.
The Waitress: Whatever.

michaelkuttler:

Dennis: I want to get that Jesus on the cross look, you know what I mean?
Dee: I see what you’re saying. I think that crucifixion must have been really good for your core…

Dee: Well, Mac. I think we have successfully pulled off one extreme makeover.
Mac: Yeah. I love their eyes.

annahinks:

hero