Charlie: Lastly, before I open the bar in the morning, I always make sure to turn on the Coors sign, let people know we’ve got iced, delicious Coors in the bar. Then, ya know, that’s the last thing I do. Ol’ Charlie’s done a lot of work around here.
Dennis: Charlie. That sign does not say Coors.
Charlie: Eh?
Mac: Goddammit.
Dennis: Come outside. … CLOSED! It says CLOSED, Charlie.
Charlie: Ohhhh. Okay. Right, I can see that now. Ya know, you can’t really read it from the inside.
Mac: YOU CAN’T READ IT FROM THE OUTSIDE!

Charlie: Dennis, could you take a five?
Dennis: Uh, well I just don’t wanna cut the song.
Charlie: I would like for you to take a five.
Dennis: F— Five minutes?
Charlie: Can we have five now? Please? Dee and I. Can I get— Can you have a five over there?
Dennis: …
Charlie: Will you take a five, Dennis!? Take a five, please!!

barnumyay:

Lawyer: I will take care of all of your legal needs if each of you agrees ot never seek my legal advice again.  And you promise not to break into my home and rape my wife while she’s sleeping.
Dennis: Bro, “rape”?  I wasn’t talking about raping your wife.  I was talking about making love to her sweetly while she sleeps and I was gonna do it for you, you son of a bitch — alright fine, I won’t do it.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia 5.08 - “Paddy’s Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens”

via ohnotheydidn’t

michaelkuttler:

Dennis: I want to get that Jesus on the cross look, you know what I mean?
Dee: I see what you’re saying. I think that crucifixion must have been really good for your core…

thegarebear:

popculturebrain:

sandboxwarrior:

also see “The M.A.C. system” : Move in After Completion

Dayman, ahh-ah-ah
Fighter of the nightman, ahh-ah-ah
Champion of the sun, ahh-ah-ah
You’re a master of karate and friendship for everyone
Dayman, ahh-ah-ah
(Dayman, Dayman, Dayman)
Fighter of the nightman, ahh-ah-ah
Champion of the sun, ahh-ah-ah
(Sun, Sun, Sun, Sun, Sun)
You’re a master of karate and friendship for everyone
DAYMANNNNNNN

Mac: Stage freeze!
Dennis: Don’t say stage freeze, just do it.