Doyle: Hey, man, stop smoking, will ya? Some of us are trying to make the team.
Mac: Are you kidding me, bro?
Doyle: No.
Mac: Guy, if you think you’re actually going to make the Philadelphia Eagles, then you’re pathetic.
Doyle: You’re pathetic.
Mac: No, you’re pathetic, sport.
Doyle: No, you are!
Mac: You’re pathetic!
Doyle: You’re pathetic!
Mac: YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS PATHETIC!
Doyle: Whatever, man! When I’m done with this tryout, you’ll go back to your sad, pitiful life and I’ll be on the Eagles. And everybody in Philadelphia will know the name McPoyle.

Dennis: Alright that was uh… nice. It was very hot, sweaty and passionate… milky.

Dennis: You know, your eyebrow, it drives me crazy. It’s so thick. It’s so… dark… and so very… connected.

Dennis: Decided to come in here and take a break from all the excitement. It’s got me all sweaty. So sweaty. Do you mind? Margaret. You like sweat, don’t you?

Liam: You wanna be a McPoyle, trashbag?

Dennis: I think I’ve got a plan to get us out of this but I need you to do the destroying-the-bar thing. Can you do that?
Mac: No problem, I’m a great destroyer!
Dennis: Are you kidding me, dude, you’re a born smasher.
Mac: Yes! I’m a born smasher!
Dennis: Alright. I’m gonna work a different angle with the girl.
Mac: Work those pecs!
Dennis: Exactly. Bump it.
Mac: Alright, dude. Dennis! I love you.
Dennis: …
Mac: GO! GO! GO!

Charlie: Okay, okay, I’ve got a plan actually.
Dee: Okay.
Charlie: I’m gonna start by wrecking the back office. I don’t think anyone thought of that.
Dee: The back office? Charlie, I feel like there’s a lot more stuff—
Charlie: -slaps Dee- HEY! Listen to me, okay? I don’t blame you for that betrayal, but you’re acting nuts.
Dee: Alright, listen I’m sorry about that whole thing—
Charlie: -slap- HEY!! SHUT UP, OKAY!? I’m trying to save your life here, Dee. Listen, I’m gonna save your life by wrecking that back office. We gotta stick together, okay? You got it?
Dee: Yes, I got it, Charlie.
Liam: Times up, assholes. START SMASHIN’!
Charlie: -kisses Dee- I love you. -slap-

Liam: The whole family’s here.

Liam: What the hell is going on here?
Dennis: Uh, nothing.
Liam: Doesn’t look like nothing but, for the record, I’m into it.

Liam: We be cool. We’re even now. Bump it.