(via WWTDD)

labeledbones:

Dennis: Now here’s the twist, and there is a twist: We show it. We show all of it. Because what’s the one major thing missing from all action movies these days guys? …Full penetration. Guys, we’re gonna show full penetration and we’re gonna show a lot of it! I mean, we’re talking, you know, graphic scenes of Dolph Lundgren really going to town on this hot young lab tech. From behind, 69, anal, vaginal, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, all the hits, all the big ones, all the good ones. Then he smells crime again. He’s out busting heads. Then he’s back to the lab for some more full penetration. Smells crime, back to the lab, full penetration. Crime, penetration, crime, full penetration, crime, penetration. And this goes on and on, and back and forth, for 90 or so minutes until the movie just, sort of, ends.

Mac: Alright, well. Road trip’s off.
Frank: No, no, no, no. Road trip’s not off. I have a good idea.
*all look at Dee’s car*

Mac: Not bad, right? Kinda nice.
Frank: A lotta leg room.
Charlie: Smooth ride…
Dennis: You got a lotta room back there?
Charlie: Yeah! Easy access to the beers, too. I mean that’s a good touch.
Mac: New car smell!
Charlie: How do you get that in a used car? What is that?
Frank: It’s a spray.
Dennis: Yeah, it’s a spray.
Mac: It’s nice!
Charlie: I enjoy it, man.
Dennis: I wish this light would hurry up and change. That’s the only thing.

Dee: *running* HEY!!!! HEY YOU BASTARDS!!!!

The guys: Eeeahhhhhhh.

via (rbateson)(matt-t)(bmichael)

Dennis: I think we made every single one of our Paddy’s Dollars back, buddy.
Mac: You’re damn right. Thus creating the self-sustaining economy we’ve been looking for.
Dennis: That’s right.
Mac: How much fresh cash did we make?
Dennis: Fresh cash! Uh, well, zero. Zero if you’re talking about U.S. currency. People didn’t really seem interested in spending any of that.
Mac: That’s okay. So, uh, when they run out of the booze, they’ll come back in and they’ll have to buy more Paddy’s Dollars. Keepin’ it moving.
Dennis: Right. That is assuming, of course, that they will come back here and drink.
Mac: They will! They will because we’ll re-distribute these to the Shanties. Thus ensuring them coming back in, keeping the money moving.
Dennis: Well, no, but if we just re-distribute these, people will continue to drink for free.
Mac: Okay…
Dennis: How does this work, Mac?
Mac: The money keeps moving in a circle.
Dennis: But we don’t have any money. All we have is this. … How does this work, dude!?
Mac: I don’t know. I thought you knew.
Dennis: I thought you— WHAT? I thought you were on top of this!
Mac: You’re the one who came up with the plan!
Dennis: I— did I come up with this plan?
Mac: Last night, dude! With the D&B Power Club card and the—
Dennis: I blacked out. I blacked out that night.
Mac: Shit dude, I’ve been following your lead!
Dennis: Aw, Jesus… aw, shit. Okay, we—
Mac: We have no money and no inventory. There’s still something we can do. That’s still a business somehow.
Dennis: How does D&B’s do it? They’ve got a complicated system worked out and I cannot begin to understand it.
Mac: How does a self-sustaining economy work?
Dennis: I don’t understand how the U.S. economy works much less some sort of a self-sustaining one. I don’t understand how finances work.

via ohnotheydidn’t

barnumyay:

Charlie: How’s this, this look center?
Mac: Uh, no, you gotta move it a little to the left.
Charlie: [moves the wreath to the right] Alright, here we go, how’s that?
Mac: No your other left.
Charlie: Uh my other left? I only have one left.
Mac: It’s just an expression.  Just move it to the other direction.
Charlie: What would that expression be for, for someone who has two lefts?
Mac: No, just move it the other way.  Move it the other way.
Charlie: Towards your left?
Mac: Your left and my left are the same ‘cause we’re facing the same direction.
Charlie: Ehhh, we’re two different people, we can’t have the same left, it doesn’t make sense.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Special - “A Very Sunny Christmas”