WHAT UP!?
Pop your shirt off and stay awhile.
sort posts by Content
PhotosSort posts by Character
The GangSort posts by Season
Season 1Contributors
Old Familiar WayWatch
Thursdays at 10pm on FX!
Submissions
Click HERE or email itsalwayssunny@tumblr.com.Some Cool Shit
The official IASIP FX siteFollow the gang on Twitter
Glenn Howerton
Rob McElhenney
Charlie Day
Danny Devito
Kaitlin Olson
Charlie: Alright, Mac. I’m gonna ask you now ‘cause I’m tired and hungry. I want to go home, I want to wash my hands of this whole stinking mess. DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT SNAP INTO AN ALTERNATE AND DISTICT PERSONALITY, CAUSING YOU TO GO ON A SERIAL KILLING RAMPAGE?
Mac: What? No!
Charlie: Wh— Yes, you did. You— All right, Mac. You’re crazy, right? You’re a crazy person. Sometimes you’re two people. Let’s see the other guy, let him out.
Mac: Let who out!?
Charlie: THE SERIAL KILLER, MAC! LET THE SERIAL KILLER OUT! C’MON!
Mac: I’m not a serial killer!
Frank: Then why all the shady behavior!?
Mac: I’VE BEEN BANGING THE TRANNY! I DIDN’T WANT YOU GUYS TO FIND OUT!
Charlie: No. You’re trying to— What?
Dee: Ew.
Dennis: Oh.
Dee: Oh I don’t even know how that works!
Mac: It’s complicated, There’s a lot— She tapes it back.
Charlie: That’s everyone on the bus, dude. They’re leaving!
Frank: Maybe they’re having the tryouts in a different place!
Charlie: Son of a bitch. Alright. Screw it, man. We’re here, we’ll just relax.
Frank: Stay here and look at the Linc? Like a couple a dicks in a yard!? Get outta here! We gotta get up and go! Let’s go follow that bus! C’mon!
Dee: Hey guys. What’s up?
Mac: What the hell is this?
Dee: How’s it hangin’?
Dennis: This is a joke, right? You think anyone’s gonna buy that?
Dee: Whatever, bro.
Dennis: You’re gonna get crushed!
Mac: Dee, the second any part of your body touches that field, it’s going to shatter like glass.
Dennis: You’ve got bones like glass.
Dee: I don’t have bones like glass.
Dennis: You spent half your life in a back brace. Your body’s like, 90% Scoliosis, Dee.
Mac: The Linc, dude! The Linc!
Dennis: Yeah, baby!
Mac: I am actually gonna be able to look down and literally see how many yards I’m running.
Dennis: This is gonna be awesome, dude.
Mac: We might actually get further in this little tryout than we thought. You see how many yahoos are trying out?
Dennis: I’ve seen a lot of people wearing capes!
Mac: There are like 15 guys wearing capes.
Dennis: Why would you wear a cape? What advantage does that give you?
Mac: Absolutely none. You know what? Have a little respect. We are here with the Philadelphia Eagles and they are opening up their doors to us. I mean, this is a boyhood dream!
Dennis: I know, I know. Why even come out here if you’re not going to take this somewhat seriously?
Mac: You done pissing yet?
Dennis: No, I haven’t even started pissing yet because you’re standing next to me, you’re talking to me, it’s making me nervous and I can’t do my thing.
Doyle: Hey, man, stop smoking, will ya? Some of us are trying to make the team.
Mac: Are you kidding me, bro?
Doyle: No.
Mac: Guy, if you think you’re actually going to make the Philadelphia Eagles, then you’re pathetic.
Doyle: You’re pathetic.
Mac: No, you’re pathetic, sport.
Doyle: No, you are!
Mac: You’re pathetic!
Doyle: You’re pathetic!
Mac: YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS PATHETIC!
Doyle: Whatever, man! When I’m done with this tryout, you’ll go back to your sad, pitiful life and I’ll be on the Eagles. And everybody in Philadelphia will know the name McPoyle.
Mac: Gettin’ laid tonight. “Come on in. I’m horny.” Giddy-up. … Hello? Sandy?
Dee: Hey, come on in! Have a seat. I made you some cookies! I’m just in here changing into my bikini!
Mac: Really? Can I come back?
Dee: Uh-uh!
Mac: Oh. Got the wine coolers!
Dee: Yummy! Did you bring any condoms?
Mac: Oooh, not really into the whole “condom” thing, soo…
Dennis: Hello, Mac. How are you?
Mac: What are you doing, dude?
Dennis: Why don’t you have a seat? Enjoy a cookie, have some iced tea.
Mac: Okay.
Dennis: Who are you here to see?
Mac: My friend Sandy.
Dennis: Ohhh, Sandy. Sandy, huh? Is Sandy a young, attractive, blonde girl?
Mac: I have no idea.
Dennis: Uh, Sandy. Why don’t you come out here, please?
Dee: Ohhhh, why hello, Mac.
Dennis: Not so young and attractive, is she?
Mac: That’s enough moonshine, Frank!
Frank: No no no!
Mac: WE DON’T WANT PEOPLE TO GO BLIND!
Frank: You can never have enough moonshine! Trust me on this, I know what I’m talkin’ about!
[Takes a drink.]
Frank: Ugh! We gotta lace it with something sweeter. We gotta add a little sweetening. Deandra! Could you be a darling and run down and get daddy some Anti-Freeze?
Ingrid: SHUT UP! Shut up. Dee Reynolds!?
Dee: Yeah.
Ingrid: INGRID! Nelson! From high school!
Dee: Ingrid Nelson!? You look so different! What happened to all the fat parts?
Ingrid: I lost them! I lost a ton of weight!
Dee: Wow!
Ingrid: And look at you. You look so beautiful!
Dee: Awwww.
Ingrid: You don’t have that hideously, ugly, disgusting back brace anymore! God, we were such losers in high school. Do you remember what people used to call us?
Dee: Uh, I don’t remember.
Ingrid: The Aluminum Monster and Fatty Magoo!
Dee: …Yeah that was it.
Ingrid: Remember!? You were the Aluminum Monster. I was Fatty Magoo.
Dee: Mmm, yes. Yes.
Ingrid: Hey, do you remember how you used to say that you were gonna be famous and have your own clothing line?
Dee: Did I say that?
Ingrid: Oh, my God. Every day! Every day it was “famous actress” this and “famous model” that. And all the kids did was laugh at you.
Dee: That is— that is a good memory!
Ingrid: Well, no, I mean it inspired me. I thought to myself, “If the Aluminum Monster can do it, then so can I.”
Dee: Oh!
Ingrid: Dee! You’re in my store!
Dee: This is your store! Wow! All this. Yours. Gosh!
Ingrid: Hey so did you ever do any of the— Are you a model now!?
Dee: Well, yeah, y— y— yeah! Not— Not— Not— Yeah! Not right now… because I’m shopping!
Ingrid: Did you go to law school?
Dee: OH MY GOD I DID.
Ingrid: You did!?
Dee: Yeah, for a little while. I loved it!
Ingrid: God, you must be so busy.
Dee: I’m so busy! So busy that I have to go but it was REALLY excellent to see you
Ingrid: It was sooo good to see you too! I would love to hang out!
Dee: HANG OUT? WE’RE GONNA HANG OUT! WE’RE GONNA DO THAT! WE’RE GONNA DO ALL OF THAT!